“If there wasn’t that kind of support out there to help people, we don’t know what we would have done.”
For Connie and her family, Blue Ridge Care became a trusted source of support during an increasingly difficult journey.
Connie’s mother was living with several serious illnesses when the family began preparing for palliative care. As her needs changed, that support evolved into hospice care at home, inpatient care near the end of her life, and bereavement support for the family after her death.
At every stage, Blue Ridge Care helped Connie’s family understand what was happening, make difficult decisions and feel less alone.
A high school photo of Connie’s mother, Mary Lynch, a glimpse of the fiercely independent woman Connie remembers and loved.
Support as Her Needs Changed
Connie described her mother as fiercely independent. She always wanted to "go, go, go" and do things for herself. When serious illnesses and injuries began affecting her mobility, Connie, her father and her daughter worked together to care for her at home.
Connie recalled that her mother received palliative services for about a year before her death. The family initially expected that support to help them navigate her illnesses. As her condition progressed, however, her needs became more focused on end-of-life care.
Blue Ridge Care helped the family recognize those changes and prepare for what might come next. Team members explained what they were seeing, shared signs to watch for and answered the family's questions.
For Connie, having knowledgeable people available made an unfamiliar experience feel more manageable.
"You could ask questions and not feel like you were asking something dumb or something you shouldn't," she said. "It was like a support for you."
“We wouldn’t have been able to provide the care that we had for her if it wouldn’t have been for the assistance and being able to have someone to talk to and help with what we were going through.”
Connie’s mother and father, Mary and James. When Mary's health declined, caring for her became a family effort supported by Blue Ridge Care.
When More Care Was Needed
Connie’s mother had always said she wanted to be at home at the end of her life. Her family honored that wish for as long as they could.
Eventually, her condition reached a point when her family could no longer respond to her changing needs on their own. “We cared for her for what we could, for our capability. Now she needed further professional capability,” Connie remembers. The decision to move her to Blue Ridge’s Inpatient Care Unit was difficult, and Connie’s father initially questioned whether they had made the right choice.
Connie reminded him that they had cared for her at home to the best of their ability. Accepting additional help did not mean they had failed her. It meant her needs had changed.
In inpatient care, professionals could monitor her around the clock and respond quickly when she needed additional comfort. Connie’s mother died peacefully there.
Connie hopes other families understand that choosing additional care at the end of life does not need to be a source of guilt or regret.
“They get the care that they need,” she said. “The people are right there. They’re caring, they’re understanding.”
Care For The Whole Family
Blue Ridge Care’s support continued after Connie’s mother died.
The team remained in contact, offered grief resources and asked how each member of the family was coping. Connie especially remembered the team checking on her son, who was 8 when his grandmother died. Connie and her son later participated in bereavement activities through Blue Ridge Care.
For Connie’s family, care was never a single service or one decision at the end of life. It changed as her mother’s needs changed, beginning with palliative care, continuing through hospice and carrying the family into life after their loss.
Through it all, Blue Ridge Care gave them a place to ask questions, people they could trust and support through every stage of the journey.
“It was not just for me and my dad. It was for me, my husband, my daughter and my son.”
Carrying Her With Them
Connie’s mother had hoped to travel to Florida with AJ, the only grandchild she had not yet taken there. A few years after her mother’s death, Connie and her family finally took the trip to they had once planned to take together.
Her mother had bought matching hats for the trip, one for herself and one for Connie. Connie carried her mother’s hat with her throughout Disney, a simple but meaningful way to include her in a trip she had so wanted to make with her family. “This way Mom did go with us on the trip,” Connie said.
Connie with Stitch at Disney, carrying the hat her mother had bought for the trip they had once planned to take together. For Connie, it was a way to make sure her mom was still part of the experience.
